"Was I the Karen...?": Entitled cat mom demands disciplinary action for 'ethical misconduct' despite having no proof, blaming the vet for her cat's setbacks

Hey there, feline fam. We know how hard it is to trust your cats with someone else. 

They are our precious fur babies. We raised some of them since they were smaller than our hands. No matter if they've been with us for five years or five minutes, we love them more than life itself, and we would do anything for them. However, sometimes we have to hand them over to the purrfessionals. They did go to meowdical school, after all, and we have to trust that they have our kitties' best interests at heart.

This cat mom had it rough with her kitty. She needed lots of surgeries, and her mom followed the instructions diligently, but she just kept relapsing. In her peak frustration, she turned into a Karen and accused the surgeon of trying to steal her money and pressuring her into following his advice, despite having gotten opinions from multiple purrfessionals. And what did she get from this? A half-hearted apology letter. That's it.

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Author image for Blake Seidel Blake Seidel
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    Was I the Karen for filing a formal complaint against my cat’s veterinarian?

    'All I can hope is that his mistake will haunt him the rest of his career'
    via Kzenon

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • 02
    another 2k in post op care: prescription food, a lot of meds, adaptive equipment like ramps, acupuncture for cats (which I learned was a thing), follow up consultations - etc.
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 03
    We did everything to respect the post op care instructions down to the letter: cone x 2 weeks, meds 3x a day for 2 weeks, then daily meds for the next 6 months, physio 2x a day, ice pack, and confinement to prevent her from overextended
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 04
    herself. After 7 weeks post-op, we started a very gradual easing her imprisonment: short walks on a leash, controlled play time, jumping small distances (swapping the pet ramps for stairs), daytime supervised rec time, and lastly, free reign to run.
    via Lipstickd**e
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  • We understand this mom's feline frustration. When something like this happens to your pet… it's one of your worst nightmares. Everything is out of your control, and you can only make the most informed decision you can. 

  • 05
    When my cat relapsed 6 months later, her surgeon recommended a specialized surgery done by an orthopaedic vet. This is where the issue starts. He had my generalist surgeon vet explain the procedure. I had questions she couldn't answer. I
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 06
    expressed wanting to do surgery on both legs at the same time but she said the ortho surgeon recommends doing one at a time. I requested to speak with the him because I wanted to discuss his hesitations. He ultimately
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 07
    accepted to do both and declined to speak with me as it wasn't part of his protocols, plus he was too busy. My vet assured me I'd be able to speak with him the morning of the surgery.
    via Lipstickd**e
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  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10530702080
    via Elnur

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Morning of the surgery comes around and he wants to change the surgical plan. No new information had come out and the reasons he cited were the same anticipated concerns he had prior to surgery. He is
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 10
    asking my permission but remains insistent on doing them one at a time. I ask for time to think about it as a third surgery would require another very long and difficult post-op convalescence, not to mention
    via Lipstickd**e
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  • Our main question is this: why would you argue with a surgeon when this is their specialty? Not everyone is out to scam you out of your money. At a certain point, you have to humble yourself. If nothing else, for the sake of your cat.

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    more much more expensive than what I had agreed to. He tells me she's already under anesthesia so I had a few minutes, otherwise I would be holding up the procedure. I caved to the pressure since he was the professional and he was
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 12
    saying the only benefit in doing them both at once was to save money. He made me feel cheap, despite already paying 3k for the first surgery + 2k in convalescence related care, and having budgeted another 5k for this procedure. Doing them one
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 13
    at a time would have costed 3.5k each plus convalescence (ex. Post op meds, x-rays, follow up consultations). I was livid but didn't want to antagonize an ally, since he was among the few who had the skills to do it.
    via Lipstickd**e
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  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10530703104
    via narong27

    https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1iufvpz/was_i_the_karen_for_filing_a_formal_complaint/

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    Two months later, she relapsed. Worse yet, she developed a more complicated condition which would require another, borderline experimental surgery (it's been done on dogs but there wasn't enough evidence to conclude its effectiveness on cats) on top of the corrective surgery for the failed surgeries.
    via Lipstickd**e
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    While I can't prove it, I wonder if she developed this condition as a consequence of doing one knee at a time. Overcompensating with one leg, which caused undue strain on the other. My generalist said he made the right call, but I had
    via Lipstickd**e
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  • 17
    difficulties swallowing that decision. I accepted her relapse after her first surgery - it was a very thoughtful decision, with ample time to research the facts. There was no way we
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 18
    could have known she would relapse with the information that was available at the time and the tests that could have been performed.
    via Lipstickd**e
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    Stewing in anger after watching my girl suffer, I finally went through with it. Took the vet's licensing board a few months to address my complaint but it was ultimately retained, investigated and redressed. I asked the order
    via Lipstickd**e
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  • 20
    to make him acknowledge his mistake. They had him write me some half-hearted, impersonal letter, but I did manage to make him change his policies and procedures.
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 21
    The damage was done and he can't repair his mistake so was it even worth the effort? All I can hope is that his mistake will haunt him the rest of his career, or the rest of my cat's life - whichever is longer.
    via Lipstickd**e
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    Edit for clarity: The complaint was for his breach of ethical misconduct relating to the lack of *free informed consent - not the outcome. When he called after the procedure, I
    via Lipstickd**e
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  • 23
    reproached him for strong arming my decision and he totally dismissed me. I complained to the clinic director a week later; her relapse didn't happen until 8 weeks later.
    via Lipstickd**e
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    (*Creating urgency to make a medical decision via anaesthesia, in a non-urgent situation- ie. could have been avoided if discussed prior to putting her under anesthesia)
    via Lipstickd**e
  • 25
    Like my vet, I am also a professional, regulated by an order. We all dread the threat of a formal complaints, even when they are unfounded. Sometimes we make an error in our clinical decision, but not stemming from a professional fault (absence of due diligence).
    via Lipstickd**e
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  • 26
    My cat (3 at the time) was born with a luxating patella in both knees. Given the gradation, surgery was the only option. She was given 90% chance of full recovery so of course I was willing to gamble the odds. The surgery was 3k, and about
    via Lipstickd**e

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